new race in PW; Earthguard

Today is the day we all waiting for. The Map will reset and the new race will come; Earthguard. I've been playing the latest race Tideborn but due to its limited weapon, I finally decided to leave it at 47. Now, I'm levelling up my Cleric as my main char and hopefully, the guild will grant me a position after I reach higher level.

For the past few weeks, I've been checking to PW homepage and I'm glad to see that they will create this new race. Like the previous races, the new race also divided to Physical and Magic based char. Some of the player said, the new Magic-based; Mystic will replace the role of Cleric. They have healing skill and also a pet that can hit. It's like a combination of a Venomancer and Wizard. I think Cleric will never be replaced since it is meant for healing and resurrection. Just like a Psychic who was said to replace the role of Wizard but both class have the pro and contra.

The guild had been very helpful in completing my BH and FB especially the leader. I never actually thought that a Psy could solo the boss. I do feel some sort of regret when I abandon my Psy but so far, levelling up my Cleric is much more enjoyable though he does less damage.

Having the new race will add more excitement. There will be more dungeons to explore and monster to kill. Today, they will arrive and I am waiting for their coming. Welcome Earthguard. :)

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the meaning of thaipusam

Thaipusam as everyone knows is a celebration by the Hindus. As a Christian, I am not celebrating it but I guess it's not a problem to know and understand the meaning of this celebration. According to a source (The Tamil Thaipusam Festival), Thaipusam is celebrated every year on the full moon day in the month of Thai, and this year (2011) it falls on the day of tomorrow. (20th of January) The best thing is, it's Holiday. Yeah~ For me holiday means no lecture, so no pressure.

So back to the meaning of this festival, it marks two occasions in Hindu tradition:

• The birth of Lord Murugan (also called as Subramaniam, Skanda or Karthikeya), the Tamil god of war and youngest son of the Hindu gods Shiva and Parvati.
• The victory of Murugan over the evil demon Soorapadman.

The Tamil word pusam actually refers to a star that is at its highest position during the festival. Since it is celebrated in the month of Thai, therefore it is called Thaipusam. Behind this festival, there is a legend of a demon called Soorapadman. He was protected against death from the hands of mortals and deities alike. Since he felt invincible, he soon started to tormenting those he deemed weak.

To overcome the protection of Soorapadman, Shiva created a new deity which is Lord Murugan. He was given a spear by Parvati so he could go out and fight the demon. The demon sensing defeat turned himself into a tree but to no avail, Murugan split the tree with his spear in half. Half of the tree turned into a flag and the other into a peacock by himself. Murugan ordered the latter to embed itself onto the flag and used it thereafter as his battle standard.

Back at my hometown, there's no Hindu so I could only watch them on TV when I was little. One thing that I remember was a scene where they will pierce their own body with spears and other sharp objects. My teacher used to say that it is something like atonement? Whatever it is, there are also some other ways to celebrate this festival. It can be in the form of:

• Giving out water to devotees or providing first aid and other services.
• Preparing special food (annadanam); daal, rice or vegetarian curry.
• Carrying a 'burden' called kavadi or kavathi.

In Malaysia, Hindus will visit Batu Caves to celebrate it. Batu Caves is a place where the shrine dedicated for Lord Murugan was made. The devotees will be observing various rituals that are meant to purify body and mind.

• Observing a 48-day fast before the festival consisting of one vegetarian meal a day.
• Praying extensively at home and at the temple.
• Abstaining from carnal pleasures.
• Observing silence as much as possible.

On this day, an idol representing Lord Murugan will be carried from one Karthikeya temple to another. Devotees shave thier heads or facial hair as a sign of penance before joining the procession. The kavadi attarm is a popular kavadi dance performed by everyone in honor of Murugan, the Lord of Dance. Thaipusam is a family affair and supporting a kavadi bearer is every family's duty and honor.

Here are the list of different kavadis:

• A pot of milk carried on the head.
• A small spear pierced through the tongue to symbolize the vow of silence.
• A metal rod pierced through the mouth signifying that the devotee has denounced the gift of speech temporarily and channeled his energy toward god.
• Hooking smaller burdens like lemons, oranges or coconuts into one's flesh (on the chest or back)
• Bigger hooks attached to a devotee's back and used to pull a cart
• A portable altar of around 15 kg that is placed on a devotee's shoulders and secured with metal rods to back and chest.

Bearing these burdens are not painless. It also hurt our own eyes to watch the whole scene. So, how they can bear such burden? Carrying the kavadi cannot be done without devotion and belief. Therefore, the bearers are put into a trance (half-conscious state) by swami who will then skewer the skin or otherwise attach the various burdens. In fact, the atmosphere is so charged that even many a bystander is said to have fallen into a trance.

Once the kavadi beares reach the Murugan temple, a swami will remove the various hooks and spears and sprinkles holy ash on the pierced flesh. The kavadi bearer is said to feel no pain throughout and no scars remain, just elation and relief to have fulfilled the vow.

Wow. This celebration is for sure so full of meaning and rituals for them. Sometimes when reading the article about it, I could sense some similarities between my own religion and this festival especially the using of ash. and fasting days. Whatever it is, it's nice to know something about others and I believe the meaning of this festival is no other than the victory of good over evil which could be accepted by everyone.

 The statue of Lord Murugan in Batu Caves

 Carrying the kavadi

Piercings

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what can you do to make the sun rise?

I could not remember what the whole sermon was about last Sunday but one thing that stick to my head was this short beautiful story the priest shared with us. The story was between a disciple and a master. One day, the disciple asks his master, "What can I do to attain God?" The master answers by asking him back, "What can you do to make the sun rise?" The disciple says indignantly, "The why are you giving us all these methods of prayer?" And the master replies, "To make sure you're awake when the sun rises."

I found the story was really inspiring. Anyone who loves to read such stories would find this book really helpful. It was written by Brian Cavanaugh especially for teaching, preaching and also public speaking. To get free reading, it was available on Google Book but limited pages. Yeah~

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why do birds...

sound familiar? it's the first verse of a song close to you by carpenters. first time i heard it was in 2004 ago. at that time, there was this ceremony in school and the choir perform this song. it was a nice and easy listening one. 

but, have you ever wonder why birds don't get electrocuted when they perched on live wires as shown in this picture?

 

as kids, we're always told not to play near to any utility poles. i always believe that it was dangerous to touch it. i always see birds perching on electrical wires everywhere but somehow i forgot to ask myself why they didn't get shocked until my EMG lecturer mention about it one day. 

so, how come this could happen? when the birds perch on a live wire, their body become charged but with the same amount of voltage in the wire. since, the amount of voltage in the wire and the bird are same there is no current flow. we are to remember that in order for current to flow, there must be a difference between two points of voltage. simple explaination.

however, if one part of the bird touches the ground it will be electrocuted. a ground is a region of approximately zero voltage. therefore, a squirrel can run across an electrical line but die when its foot makes contact with the grounded pole. 

my lecturer told me that if we hang on the wire we'll not die. now i know why playing kite could be dangerous. interestingly, the birds didn't know this but still they didn't die. yeah~

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1st C2H5OH in my 21st

so what is this C2H5OH? according to wikipedia C2H5OH is what we called ethanol which is found most in alcoholic beverages. during my christmas celebration in kampung last year which is a week ago, alcohol is the main thing that we search for. i've tasted many kinds of it but the one who beats the rest is renmano. it's like eating chicken cooked with ketchup (ayam masak kicap). lol~

in US, teens are only allowed to drink alcohol at 21 but most of them have tasted it at early 13. it also happen here. back then, most of my friends are great drunkard though they are only 15. as for me, i only taste a bit of it. never drink until i lose control of myself but growing up as a teenager and surrounded by it, i am finally becoming one of them. it was not a shame of my family because rice wine is one of the identity of my tribe. it's good if taken considerately.

according to kidshealth.org alcohol is created when grains, vegetables or fruits are fermented. it's a process that uses bacteria to change sugars in the food into alcohol. fermentation is used to produce many necessary items such as a cleaner, antiseptic or a sedative.

when we drink alcohol, it will be absorbed into our bloodstream. from there, it affects the central nervous system which controls our body functions. so why it is bad? alcohol is a depressant which means it slows the function of the central nervous system. it blocks some the messages trying to get to the brain. no wonder, my typing got so many errors last time. alcohol also alters a person's perceptions, emotions, movement, vision and hearing.

if taken in small amounts, alcohol can help a person to feel more relaxed or less anxious but more alcohol will greater changes in the brain. we may stagger, lose our coordination and slur our speech. we will probably be confused and disoriented.

under the influence of alcohol, a person will only become either very friendly and talkative nor very aggressive and angry. i think now i know why some of my cousins always get aggressive when they are drunk. most of my family members are very friendly and talkative but they are also who are very quiet. 

a large amount of alcohol can result in alcohol poisoning. the first symptom is a violent vomiting. it could result in extreme sleepiness, unconsciousness, difficulty breathing, dangerously low blood sugar, seizures and even death may result.

therefore drinking is bad. we can look really stupid and do embarrassing things. alcohol also puts our health at risk. teen drinkers are also more likely to get fat or have health problems. people who continue drinking heavily well into adulthood risk damaging their organs such as liver, heart and brain.

a person who have strong self-esteem are less likely to become problem drinkers than people with low self-esteem. however, everyone can make decisions about whether to drink and how much.

yeah~

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when sadness is a problem?

I left the exam hall 15 minutes earlier. It's not that I've finished answering my paper but I've done with my thinking, so I give up and fly away. So, it's a common thing for me right now. I just have no reason why I need to score my subjects here. (I can't really believe I am doing this!) So, let's learn about a thing that always beat me down to death:

According to kidshealth.org sadness is the emotion people feel when they've lost something important or when they have disappointed about something. When we're sad, we always feel that the world is dark and unfriendly. We might also feel that we have nothing to look forward to. The hurt deep inside might even usually ruin our good mood.

I always hear people say laughter is the medicine but today, I learn crying can makes us feel much better. Here's a fact about crying: When you cry, it's like you are releasing a huge pressure in your heart. I find it quite true because everytime I cry, I can feel a huge relief. So, next time if we feel like crying, just cry. No need to think about losing our pride. It's a part to be human.

Here's a list of cause why sadness happen.

• Loss and separation: The kind of sadness we feel from death is called - Grief.
• Changes: Involve leaving something (or someone) behind.
• Disappointments: Losing a game we hope to win, getting poor grade or not being invited to a party.
• Relationships: When we get criticized or yelled a lot. Many of us fight with family in struggle to grow up and gain independence.

Kids are the one who often get sad. In growing up, they struggle with fighting, teasing, peer pressure and feeling misunderstood by people close to them can lead to feelings of sadness. With sadness, there are other feelings mixed in, too. When we're sad, we might also feel angry or guilty. We feel like blaming others or blaming ourselves. Some kids mistakenly think that sad events like death, illness or divorce are all their fault. However, this isn't true. Kids don't cause these things to happen.

When we get sad for too long, hurts too deeply and makes us hard to enjoy good things in our life, it's called depression. If you find yourself in this symptoms, you might need to consider getting help:

• feeling empty or numb
• feeling hopeless (like there's nothing to look forward to)
• feeling guilty or worthless
• feeling lonely or unloved
• feeling irritable and annoyed a lot (every little thing gets on your nerves)
• feeling like things are not fun anymore
• having trouble keeping your mind on schoolwork or homework or getting bad grades
• having trouble keeping your mind on things like reading or watching TV or not remembering what a book or a TV show was about
• having less energy and feeling tired all the time
• sleeping too much or not enough
• not eating enough and weight loss or eating too much and weight gain
• thinking about death or thinking about suicide
• spending less time with friends and more time alone
• crying a lot, often for no reason
• feeling restless (being unable to sit still or relax)
• having certain body feelings, like lots of stomachaches, headaches or chest pain

Some of us have depression after the loss of someone really close, such as a parent; long-lasting problems at home, including violence, illness, divorce or alcohol or drug use; child abuse or neglect; rape and long-term illness, burns or accidents. But sometimes kids may be depressed for no apparent reason. Having a parent who gets depressed makes it more likely for a kid to become depressed. 

It's really important to get help when we have depression regardless of what age we are. Treatment could be talking to someone who knows all about depression. Sometimes medications can help depression heal. If we think we have depression or just sadness that simply will not go away, it is important to talk to an adult about it or to our close friends. There is always somebody to talk to when we are sad or depressed. Somebody who can help.

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reconsidering the latest feedback

Years ago, we were in the middle of discussion when something out of the topic came up. "You are the first person I saw that never work hard for something." My eyes were opened wide and my heart? Broken. Not really sure how it suddenly came out but then I started to reason why I feel like giving up all the time here. My friend's first response is, "Then quit!" Among all my friends who knew how I got up here, his response was the only one that knocked my head against the wall and it broke my heart, again. Usually, people would say to me "Don't give up. Who knows this might be a big chance for you to have a golden future. Engineering will be a big guarantee for you to get paid so highly. In the future, it is all about engineering. Dreams are not butterfly. If not, I'd catch 'em all!"

Those are the supportive words I heard from every mouth that asked why I didn't stay in my previous institution. For a year and a half, I am very grateful to have a bunch of supporters in my doomed days. They keep me strong even sometimes I feel like eating a stone when attending every day's classes. With the hope of finding the silver lining in the cloud, I continue carrying the cross. I feel like I am being punished for something that I don't even know what I have done. Yet, I was actually surprise of my result. It wasn't good enough but for someone who is so reluctant to learn and digest the lesson, I am quite happy for my average grade. There are my friends who are worse than me and yet, they manage to survive until now without even vomiting a single sigh. Contrary to me, I was sighing every single minutes of it.

These three years, I've been thinking to myself what if I have chosen a different path? What if I have paused for a moment and take time to really consider how my life would be in four years time? What if I have not look back and continue only to see the glory of it? There's just so many what if but what clear to me, I feel so bad taking my life for granted especially the knowledge and the prayers that have been offered for me. Recently, there was a blessing mass in the church. I just feel so awful for somehow, I know it will proves in vain.

At this point, with all the plannings I've planned for my next semester I am reconsidering back of what have knocked me so hard against the wall. "Quit and do what you really want to do."

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