Years ago, we were in the middle of discussion when something out of the topic came up. "You are the first person I saw that never work hard for something." My eyes were opened wide and my heart? Broken. Not really sure how it suddenly came out but then I started to reason why I feel like giving up all the time here. My friend's first response is, "Then quit!" Among all my friends who knew how I got up here, his response was the only one that knocked my head against the wall and it broke my heart, again. Usually, people would say to me "Don't give up. Who knows this might be a big chance for you to have a golden future. Engineering will be a big guarantee for you to get paid so highly. In the future, it is all about engineering. Dreams are not butterfly. If not, I'd catch 'em all!"
Those are the supportive words I heard from every mouth that asked why I didn't stay in my previous institution. For a year and a half, I am very grateful to have a bunch of supporters in my doomed days. They keep me strong even sometimes I feel like eating a stone when attending every day's classes. With the hope of finding the silver lining in the cloud, I continue carrying the cross. I feel like I am being punished for something that I don't even know what I have done. Yet, I was actually surprise of my result. It wasn't good enough but for someone who is so reluctant to learn and digest the lesson, I am quite happy for my average grade. There are my friends who are worse than me and yet, they manage to survive until now without even vomiting a single sigh. Contrary to me, I was sighing every single minutes of it.
These three years, I've been thinking to myself what if I have chosen a different path? What if I have paused for a moment and take time to really consider how my life would be in four years time? What if I have not look back and continue only to see the glory of it? There's just so many what if but what clear to me, I feel so bad taking my life for granted especially the knowledge and the prayers that have been offered for me. Recently, there was a blessing mass in the church. I just feel so awful for somehow, I know it will proves in vain.
At this point, with all the plannings I've planned for my next semester I am reconsidering back of what have knocked me so hard against the wall. "Quit and do what you really want to do."
Those are the supportive words I heard from every mouth that asked why I didn't stay in my previous institution. For a year and a half, I am very grateful to have a bunch of supporters in my doomed days. They keep me strong even sometimes I feel like eating a stone when attending every day's classes. With the hope of finding the silver lining in the cloud, I continue carrying the cross. I feel like I am being punished for something that I don't even know what I have done. Yet, I was actually surprise of my result. It wasn't good enough but for someone who is so reluctant to learn and digest the lesson, I am quite happy for my average grade. There are my friends who are worse than me and yet, they manage to survive until now without even vomiting a single sigh. Contrary to me, I was sighing every single minutes of it.
These three years, I've been thinking to myself what if I have chosen a different path? What if I have paused for a moment and take time to really consider how my life would be in four years time? What if I have not look back and continue only to see the glory of it? There's just so many what if but what clear to me, I feel so bad taking my life for granted especially the knowledge and the prayers that have been offered for me. Recently, there was a blessing mass in the church. I just feel so awful for somehow, I know it will proves in vain.
At this point, with all the plannings I've planned for my next semester I am reconsidering back of what have knocked me so hard against the wall. "Quit and do what you really want to do."
10 comments:
when u're not sure about something, wait and pray. God will direct u if u're really seeking for answer.
thanks. i hope i am making the right choice.
think wise, every decision you're about to make will affect others. anyhow, it's about your life and future......
thanks. i just think there's no use watering a dead flower. i want to start a new beginning and catch where i've left. i don't really mind if i have start again from zero. i want to feel alive again. having a reason why i do a thing. i read the books, watch tv, play cards but somehow i feel it doesn't matter actually. i've lost everything and now having back the heart to do what i really want to do makes me to be on the path of success again. i place it in God's arm and hope He'll bless it entirely.
if there's no doubt in ur heart, then do it. =)
thinking wise is a fact but the truth is when u really want to do it just do it! NIKE... hehe
celcom: it's in your hand!!!
success definition is different for each people..
you might have different goals than others, so be courageous to achieve it!!
Gud luck!
happy new anyway!
yeah. thanks a lot whoever u are. happy new year too! i like celcom. me using it now.
i would want to say that too; "quit, and do what your heart's desire." but, in reality, that will take too much time, too much money, and most likely disappointment from probably, your parents, siblings and all. it is true, that we should live not for someone else's happiness, but our own. however, i've thought that if it requires the involvement of someone else, we have to take them into consideration when we are trying to make a decision. like say, our parents might provide us with pocket money, and etc., so imagine if they are not that understanding and found out that we dropped halfway through our course, they will be devastated. if i were you, even if i don't like my current condition, i'll go through it. maybe because i'm such a coward, but i'd say its what i should endure to get to a better place in my life. if you are really sure that you wanted to do something else, do it after you're finish with this one. that way, you'll get more benefit. think about it.
yeah~ u're right. right now i don't know what i should do but recently as long i got C3H2OH, anything would be okay. i think i need to learn how to let go of something that is not mine, right? thanks zal. i'll finish what i've started even it's not my choice in the first place.
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