CHOICEless...

i'm going to sit for my final paper this thursday and friday. this semester, the exam schedule was weird. the gap was too long like one week. i should have used it wisely but i don't think i manage to do it. during that time, i just dota-ing and utube-ing with my friends. we spend it more on unimportant things rather than doing revision. so, if my result is bad then no one should be blamed except myself.

during high school, i'm not such a person. i never become lazy doing any exercises and my goal was very clear. i want to become the best and prove to someone that i could survive even though i am a dork. i realize i don't have much friends and my social life was very bad seriously. i also felt like a stranger in my own home. so, to get over it i am just thinking of STUDYing all the time. READing has been a part of me. the BOOKS are my friend and for some reason, i never felt alone while isolating myself from human. my tiny world was so wonderful with the image of the story.

but reaching this level of life, somehow i realized that i've left so many things behind just to chase the dreams that will never be mine. now, all my efforts before seem so meaningless when at last, i am left with no choice. i couldn't even get to do what i wanted and it's HURTing so much walking in a path that someone else designed. i hate seeing those PASSIONs shown by them. if only i could turn back time...